Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
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The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
i've created a new STD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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