Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I have tasted many bathrooms
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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