Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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