and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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