were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
