I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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