I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
