this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
