So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
