I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
