just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
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He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
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I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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