There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Randomize
