We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
