I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
