i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
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