How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize