I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
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