the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
