Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize