Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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