im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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