boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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