Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
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