When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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