i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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