We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
