I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
