Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
