i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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