I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
