She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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