I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
