Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize