yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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