Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
