It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
