It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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