You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
