Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Randomize
