I wish I could punch you in the face.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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