i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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