I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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