but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
