It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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