So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
