Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
