this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My breasts were aching with rage.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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