He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
It's Friday. Sex?
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
