No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
