I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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