it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
We left the knife in your bed.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
