so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Randomize
