So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
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