Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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