i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
