Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
