Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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