so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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