Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
