And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
