Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
