I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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