Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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